Shitty Golfer – Toby Keith

Introduction:

Toby Keith’s song “Shitty Golfer” is a humorous anthem dedicated to everyone who loves the game of golf, regardless of their skill level. Released as part of his 2017 album The Bus Songs, the track stands out with its self-deprecating humor and lighthearted tone. The song pokes fun at the frustrations of being a terrible golfer, describing the relatable experience of bad swings, missed shots, and general misadventures on the green. Despite the title, it captures the spirit of camaraderie and fun that comes with a day on the golf course, even when things don’t go as planned​.

The music video complements the song’s comedic tone, showcasing golfers dealing with various mishaps like slicing shots, getting stuck in sand traps, and even bending or burning their clubs in frustration. Though it exaggerates the experience, Keith reminds listeners that golf is as much about the fun and laughter with friends as it is about the game itself​.

Interestingly, while the song humorously portrays him as a bad golfer, Keith is actually quite accomplished on the course. He plays regularly with a handicap of 13 and even participates in celebrity golf tournaments. “Shitty Golfer” is a testament to his ability to laugh at himself, even though he’s far from the “shitty golfer” the song depicts.

Video:

Lyrics:

“Shitty Golfer”

I’m a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
And new taylormade driver didn’t make me any betterMan, I hit ’em fat and I hit ’em thin
I roll ’em in the bunker’s man, I hit ’em again
Slice ’em in the bushes, crank ’em in a creek
I popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the street

Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five

Hey, I’m a shitty golfer, most of us are
But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
What else you gonna do when you’re out of town
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round

Man, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88
I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age

Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five, oh yeah
You can put me down for a five